Just something random

[Sora]

Well, while I was doing my homework a little bit ago, I had this overwhelming urge to write. It was a strange feeling and it left me totally unable to concentrate on my homework. So, I just went with it. What I'm posting is what I wrote while I was on my "writing high". It is exactly what I wrote the first time through, with only minor errors and one or two changes to content. Basically, what you see is what I wrote as I thought up with it. I want your opinions on it because I just want to know if what I did was any good. Neko has read it and she liked it, but I'd like to see what you guys think as well.

Well, enjoy ^_^...I hope...XD:


The boy’s head hung limply from his neck, as if held up by only a thin piece of skin. His hair swayed in front of his eyes as the breeze began to pick up around him. And then slowly, ever so slowly, he began to fall: first his head, then his shoulders, and finally, the rest of his body. He tumbled downwards for what seemed like forever. Down through the ocean of blue and white and silver that caressed his body as he passed by. His brown hair wiped around his head as his eyes, the color of rusted metal and nearly closed, stared blankly forward. Seeing but not seeing at the same time. He was in another place. Somewhere that could not be reached unless it needed to be found.

Suddenly, a darker blue speck appeared below him amidst his crystal blue surroundings. It slowly began to grow until it had engulfed the entire area below him; a pure blue expanse that seemed to have no bottom and no surface. Flat and at the same time warped to a degree that seemed to fool the mind. As he raced towards it, he began to hear a humming noise that seemed to come from above. It was distant at first, but soon grew louder, as if chasing after the boy’s falling body. As it neared, the air around the boy began to shimmer and distort, like the static a television shows when it doesn’t have signal.

A moment later, he passed out of his crystal blue surroundings and into the darker and almost empty ocean of blue. The air continued to shimmer and distort, but was slowly being engulfed by the blue expanse around it. The shimmer was almost gone when a black square appeared below the boy. It was as dark as a moonless night and as empty as space itself. As it began to grow, the boy’s fingers twitched.

His eyes opened.

And everything went black.

[Sora]

Well, here's the second part. Please tell me what you guys think. I could really use some constructive criticism.


The young girl stood among a plethora of flowers. Blue ones, yellow ones, green and red ones; purple ones, orange ones, even some colors that had no name. They grew all around her, in every direction. Left, right, even up the sides of the hills adjacent to her. Bending down slowly, she gently plucked one from the ground. It was as blue as the sky above her and as pure as a newborn baby’s smile. It brought the young girl such joy to hold something so beautiful. Such joy that could only be experienced on days such as this, where the sun was shining and a cool breeze gently blew around her, caressing her skin and playfully tossing her hair to each side. The girl smiled. Such a beautiful smile this young girl had; as perfect as the day around her and as sincere as a mother’s love for her son. Yes, truly a sight to behold. It was a shame that the world so seldom saw it; A shame that her father hated so that smile, saying it reminded him of her mother. The girl never understood why that was such a horrible thing. Her mother was a beautiful woman. Her long, red hair used to sway in the afternoon breeze as her chocolate brown eyes showed a love of life that was so rarely seen in her village. The girl looked so much like her mother: her hair, her eyes, even her smile. Yes. It was the smile that looked most like her mother. Maybe that was why her father hated her the way he did. Why he beat her so that she wouldn’t smile; so she would have no reason to. That’s why she came here, to this valley. Where she could smile until her cheeks could no longer hold up her lips to form one. It was here that it all began. Or, perhaps, where it all ended. Or maybe even both. Only time would tell.

The girl gently placed the blue flower in her pocket and turned to leave the valley when a faint humming caught her attention. The girl looked all around, but could not determine the origin of the sound. Then it dawned on her: it was coming from underneath the field; deep below the valley. The girl got onto her knees and placed her ear to the ground, listening intently. As the humming grew louder, the ground began to shake. Surprised, the girl fell backwards onto herself, eyes wide and fearful. A few yards in front of her, amidst the rainbow of flowers, a black square appeared. The flowers in that space seemed to disintegrate as the air around the square began to shimmer and distort. Then, time itself seemed to slow.

The square squirmed and shrank back into itself, vanishing from sight. Then, a moment later, it reappeared and began spinning rapidly in place. The air around the girl became a vacuum, slowly pulling her towards the spinning mass of darkness. She could feel the emptiness of the square; feel the hopelessness and despair it resonated. And then, everything stopped. The square came to a halt and the air became still, the way it would the eye of a hurricane. The girl sat there, unable to move. Suddenly, a hand shot out of the square and grabbed hold of its side, squeezing so hard its knuckles turned white. A second later, another hand shot out and grabbed hold of the adjacent side and began to pull whatever it was attached to out of the square’s depth. The girl could only sit there, her body frozen in fear. Soon, the face of a young boy appeared, utterly emotionless and blank, followed by the rest of his body. The boy looked upwards towards the sky and let out an inhuman roar that seemed to make time itself quiver in fear. Pulling himself free of the square, he jumped to the ground. A flash of light followed, blinding the young girl. When she opened her eyes, the square was gone, and in its place stood a boy, no older than his young teens. His hair was dark brown and his eyes the color of rusted metal. They seemed to look through the girl and at the space behind her.

The boy’s mouth opened and he uttered one word.

“Eve”

Then his eyes closed and he collapsed to the ground, unconscious. The girl sat there, horrified and stunned at what had just happened. Slowly, she regained control of her body and cautiously made her way forward toward the young boy. Upon reaching him, she carefully looked him over. His bleached white skin glowed in the sunlight, while his dark brown hair was being gently tossed by the newly returning breeze. The girl tentatively put her hand to his face, but jerked it away in surprise at how cool his skin was. Not cold, but cool, like a spring breeze. She examined his clothes, curious as to where one would get an outfit like his. It consisted of a dark, short sleeved shirt and cream-colored pants. Both seemed to be made of a silk-like material, for they were soft and smooth to her touch, but seemed to be just as cool as the body. On the boy’s left hand was a light blue glove that had the fingers cut off. The right hand was devoid of a glove but donned a single ring. The girl gently picked up his hand and examined the ring, its markings intriguing her. Suddenly, a wave of tiredness hit her. She dropped the boy’s hand to her side, struggling to keep her eyes open; afraid of what might happen if she were to lose consciousness. But she couldn’t stay awake. Her eyes were just too heavy. Drifting off, the girl rested her hand on the young boy’s and said, in a barely audible voice,

“My name’s Rose…what’s yours?”

The boy didn’t stir. Disappointed, the girl let sleep envelop her. Just before she fell asleep, she heard a small voice next to her.

“Rayne”, it said.

The girl smiled.

“Rayne,” she thought. “I wonder if he’ll be my friend…”, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

[Raikou-Neko]

So you're starting to try your hand at writing, eh? It's pretty good, love. -^.^-

[Sora]

3rd part...common guys. I know at least one or two of you are reading this stuff (sees the "has been red 26 times" thing). At least post what you think. Oh, and I modified the first two posts a bit, so they read better. At least, I think they do.


Rose was dreaming. She was 5 years old again and in her old house in the city. Although just a two room apartment, it seemed like a mansion to her young mind. The couch was a mountain to climb, and the closet a menacing cave in which her deepest fears resided. But all of these familiar surroundings did not comfort her. Nervously, she looked around the room. The pictures on the wall hung from strange angles, and the chairs from the card table at which she ate were overturned. The room was a mess, almost as if a fight had taken place. Even stranger, the room appeared to be covered in a thin layer of snow and ice. Rose took off the navy blue sweater she was wearing and tied it around her waist, the room’s condition not seeming to affect her body temperature. She began to take a step forward, but stopped when she remembered what day it was. It was her fifth birthday. Her mother had stayed home to prepare for the party instead of heading into work. Excited, Rose ran to her mother’s bedroom, ignoring the snow and ice around her as if it wasn’t there. Standing in front of the door, she adjusted the sweater around her waist and took off her shoes. Being careful not to make the door squeak, in case her mother was sleeping, she slowly opened the door.

Her mother lay sprawled on the queen sized bed, it sheets stained with a dark blue liquid. Blood trickled out of the corner of her mouth as her eyes stared blankly forward. Tear stains ran down her cheeks, ending near her neck. Rose felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. Hard. She doubled over, kneeling in the layer of snow that covered the room. As she began to cry, blue dots appeared in the snow below her. They were her tears; the same color as the liquid on the bed sheets. Rose couldn’t believe it.

On January 14, on her fifth birthday, Rose Millicent killed her mother.

[shadowclone]

Alright, alright, I'll stop lurking. I like it Sora, I like it quite a bit. I feel it could maybe be a little bit longer, or broken up a bit more in certain places, but the storyline itself is pretty good.


*Goes back to lurking*

[Kila]

I'm feeling this story and your writing style, but I must say that I'm considerably confused XD. I'm assuming that in the next installment things will start to make a bit more sense? I do enjoy this though~~ CONTINUE DAMN YOU >:CCC

[Sora]

XD Finally! Another reply aside from Kage and Neko XD Don't worry, it's meant to be confusing at this point. I'm kinda making this up as I go along, but I have a general idea. And I already have the next chapter all typed up. I just have to edit it and post it XD

[Sora]

Well, here's the fourth chapter. Enjoy ^_^


“I can’t breathe…” Rose thought numbly. “I can’t breathe…I…I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!” The voice in her head was screaming out to itself. She tried to open her eyes but they seemed to be glued shut. She could see only darkness. She began to struggle against her suffocation when she heard a voice. It came from beside her. Someone was whispering in her ear.

“Quiet. Just. Stay. Quiet.” It said in a harsh, whispered tone. But Rose ignored it. She continued to struggle against the voice.

“Fine,” It whispered, “If I let you breathe, will you stop moving?” Rose stopped struggling and nodded. Suddenly, air rushed into her lungs. Her eyes opened, but only darkness was visible. As they adjusted, tiny specks of light materialized above her. It was night out. She was lying in the field of flowers, her dress covered in dirt. Taking deep breaths, she began to wonder whose voice it was that had spoken. She turned her head to the side and saw a small figure kneeling among the flowers next to her. Trying to stay quiet, she whispered,

“Rayne?”

The figure said nothing, nor did it give any indication that it had heard her.

“Rayne, is that you?” Rose asked in a slightly louder voice.

“I told you to be quiet.” The voice’s tone was sharp and agitated.
Rose nodded and turned her head back to stare at the sky. She was puzzled, anxious, and delighted all at the same time: puzzled as to why she had to be quiet, anxious of what was going on, and delighted that she had met someone new. No one ever came to visit her village. It was too far away from any real kind of civilization. But Rose liked that. Cars, smog, crowds of people: too much stuff to pay attention too. Here in her village, life was peaceful. Simple and peaceful.

She heard Rayne sigh next to her.

“Ok,” he said in a hushed voice, “I think we’re safe fo-“

A loud crack sounded through the air. It seemed to pierce Rose’s mind, sending spasms of pain through her skull. She curled into a ball, cradling her head and whimpering. Beside her, Rayne too was grasping his head. Not in pain, like Rose, but in an effort to stay hidden. They were concealed behind a pile of rocks near the entrance to the valley. Unfortunately the rocks only came up to about waist-height, so Rayne had to kneel behind them. Peeking over the rocks, Rayne's heart skipped a beat.

Standing no more than a few yards away were two grotesque, boar-faced creatures. They were massive in size, probably twice that of Rayne. Their skin was a pale black color, similar to dried tar, with electric blue stripes running down their backs. They stood hunched over on four hind legs, their front arms hanging limply from their massive chest. Their faces resembled boars that had gotten roasted alive. Patches of bone were visible where the skin had been seared away.

None of this scared Rayne as much as the creatures’ eyes. Instead of white, they were a dark, menacing azure blue. Rayne couldn’t look away. He was entranced by their depth and menace. Slowly, he began to raise himself from his hiding spot behind the rocks. He felt compelled to talk to the creatures; to be closer to those eyes.
Rose’s whimpering snapped him out of his trance. Immediately, he fell backwards onto his rear, trying to regain his cover. But the damage had been done. The creatures had heard his movements and began to migrate toward him. Despite their bulky and almost undead appearance, they moved gracefully. The flowers beneath them barely swayed with their passing.

The creatures stopped short of the rocks. They began to sniff the air, as if searching for a particular scent. One of them let out a low, rumbling growl that made Rayne’s insides churn in displeasure. Despite the creatures close proximity, Rose continued to whimper in pain. Rayne wondered why the creatures didn’t just look over top the rocks and be done with them. Suddenly, he heard a noise to his right. A fox had burst from the flowers and was running across the field. Almost immediately, the creatures turned and followed it, disappearing into the small forest on the other side of the valley.

Rayne sat motionless for a few seconds before releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. While making sure he was still in one piece, he realized that Rose’s whimpering had stopped. Crawling over to her, he rolled her over onto her back. A look of terror immediately formed on his face. During her whimpering, Rose had begun to cry. Tears had run down her face, leaving stains along her cheeks.

The stains were a blue.

A dark blue.

The same color as the creatures' eyes.

[Zurui-Kitsune]

Sounds interesting but it is slightly confusing like Kila said. Other than that it seems like a good story(well the start of one) to me.

[shadowclone]

I'm liking it a lot Sora. Still a little short for my taste, but I like reading 10+ page "short" chapters, so...yeah, I can't judge that too much. Looking forward to reading more of it.

[Sora]

Well, here you guys go: Chapter 5 ^_^ I have to split it into two parts because of its length...it took up almost 5 pages on Microsoft Word.


Rose woke to the sound of someone pounding on a door.

She mumbled something along the lines of go away, and tried to fall back asleep. Unfortunately, the pounding wasn’t at a door, but inside her head. Curling into a ball, she tried to ignore the throbbing, hoping it would subside. Oddly enough, a few moments later, it did. Slowly, she opened her eyes, squinting against the bright light that filtered into the room.

Wait.

Rose jerked up in the bed. It was a room. Not the valley or the field, but a room somewhere. She looked around, confused and bewildered. There wasn’t much in the room, save for the bed she was on and its night stand, a wooden, probably oak, rocking chair that sat in the corner, and a small bookshelf crammed to the bursting point with books and papers.

As she got out of bed, Rose began to feel as though something was missing. Something…important. She looked down and realized what it was.

She was naked.

After the initial shock wore off, Rose feverishly began tearing the room apart, looking for her clothes. In her frenzy, she didn’t hear the door open.

“You sure slept long enough.”

Rose whipped around to see Rayne standing in the doorway, his face straight and emotionless. If he was surprised or amused, he wasn’t showing it.

“Wha-you-ah-how-gahhhhhhh!” stammered Rose as she tried to hide behind the rocking chair. “Where are my clothes?!”

Rayne looked quizzically at her. “Clothes?” He asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“Yes, clothes!” Rose practically screamed, thinking, “What is he, stupid?"

Rayne tilted his head, looking even more confused. Frustrated, Rose pointed at her body.

“C-lo-th-es,” she said, slowly pronouncing out the word. “How do you not know what clothes are?”

Rayne shrugged. “If you’re talking about that thing you had on, I disposed of it last night.”

Rose glared at him, her annoyance level clearly rising. Rayne’s monotone was beginning to get under her skin. “What you mean ‘disposed of’?”

“I burned it.” he said bluntly, “It was covered in blood.”

Rose’s mouth formed a small “o” as the anger in her eyes changed to sadness. It had been her favorite dress. She had gotten it for her last birthday as a present from her aunt. It had been made of a special thread that could only be found in her village, which allowed the dress to change colors depending on the light.

“Wait!” Rose said as Rayne turned to leave the room. “What blood? I don’t have any cuts.”

Rayne, without turning around, replied, “You were bleeding from your ears. You had lost a lot of blood by the time I could stop it.” And walked out of the room. Rose continued to kneel behind the chair, thinking about what he had said. Suddenly, a white something flew through the air and hit her in the face. Surprised, Rose fell backwards onto her butt.

“Hey!” She shouted, clearly ticked off. “What was that for?”

“They’re the things I didn’t burn. Be grateful.” Rayne yelled back, his voice sounding far away.

Sighing, Rose put on her panties and bra.

“What am I supposed to wear over this?” She yelled. Rayne didn’t respond. Cursing under her breath, she grabbed a bed sheet and tied it around herself like a bath towel.

Walking out of the bedroom, Rose entered a short hallway that branched off into 3 different rooms. Turning left, she entered a room a not much larger than the bedroom. There was scarcely anything in it: a small TV sat on top of a coffee table on the far side, while two small, and obviously old, lounging chairs sat across from it. There were two windows in the room as well: one adjacent to the chairs, and the other above the TV.

In front of Rose was an archway that led to a small kitchen. As she grew closer, Rayne’s voice became audible. It sounded as though he was having a heated argument with someone.

“Yes, two of them…No, I’m not joking…You know damn well I don’t drink…If you could just…Where?...No…I don’t….But they were….Yes, a deep blue…She shouldn’t be a problem…I doubt it…Are you sure?...Ok, but it’s on your head.”

Rose stood in the archway, looking at Rayne. His back was turned and he seemed to be in deep thought. A cell phone-like object was grasped in his hand.

“I’m guessing you heard.” He said without looking at her. Rose nodded, even though she knew he couldn’t see her do so.

“That last part was about me, wasn’t it?” She said, her voice soft.

Rayne sighed and turned to face her. Despite his almost childlike appearance, his eyes showed intelligence far beyond Rose’s. But they also showed something else. Something Rose couldn’t put her finger on.

“You’d better sit down Rose. We’ve got some things to talk about.”
Rose, her anxiety and curiosity growing with each passing second, pulled a chair over from the table and sat down. Rayne continued to stand, fiddling with his ring as he tried to put into words what he had to say. He eventually sighed and shook his head.

“Why me…” he muttered under his breath. Looking up at Rose, he could tell she was anxious, if not just flat out scared. This amused Rayne. If anyone was to be scared right now, it was him.

[Sora]

Second half




“How old are you, Rose?” Rayne suddenly asked. Rose, who had been spacing out, was surprised by this question.

“16 and five months.” She replied, wondering why he wanted to know. Rayne nodded. He looked like he was doing some calculations in his head.

“Is your skin always that color?”

Rose looked down at her arm. Even though her mother had been light-skinned and her father was Caucasian, her skin was a tanned caramel. This probably came from her mother’s side of the family.

“As far as I know. I don’t tan very well” She replied, wondering where these questions were leading. Rayne nodded again.

“What color are your eyes?

This question made Rose pause.

“Green, I think.” She replied a moment later. “Or maybe brown…I’m not sure, really. There aren’t any mirrors in my house.”

Once again, Rayne nodded.

“One last question,” he said, “Why have you not tried to run away?”

Rose was puzzled by this question.

“I don’t understand…run away from what?”

“Me,” he said, looking her in the eye, “How often does a boy appear from out of nowhere with two monstrosities on his tail? I’m sure most people would have gone hysterical.”

Rose shrugged. “I don’t have any reason to run I guess. If you had wanted to hurt me, you would have a while ago…”

She paused.

“Even if I wanted to leave…I wouldn’t be able to, would I?” She asked. Her voice was small. This time, Rayne shook his head.

“I can’t allow that,” he said solemnly, “Even I wanted too. You’re a part of something now that you can’t back out of.” He looked away from Rose and began to fiddle with his ring.

Rose sat there, feeling small and powerless. She tried to be optimistic, but it wasn’t easy. Only one thought kept her from bursting into tears: the fact that she would never have to see that poor excuse for a father again; never again have to endure the torment and suffering that had plagued her since her mother’s death.

With that thought Rose looked up from the floor and focused on Rayne.

“So,” she asked with some interest, “If I can’t go back, where do I go from here?”

Rayne turned to look at Rose. “I’m guessing the thought of never seeing your dad again cheered you up?” He said matter-of-factly.

Rose’s eyes grew wide.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Rayne said, “and no, I can’t read minds. What I can do is feel what you feel. That kind of resentment, I find, is normally directed at one’s father.”

Rose was puzzled. “How do you know it wasn’t my mother I hate?” She asked, annoyed that he could get inside her head. She hated having others invade her privacy.

“Because your mom’s dead.” Rayne said, a bit of remorse in his voice. “I felt that too.”

Rose looked at the floor and nodded. “She died when I was five…”

Suddenly, Rose heard a cracking sound. Startled, she almost fell out of her chair.

“A bit jumpy, aren’t ya?” Rayne said. The sound had come from him. He was stretching and had cracked his neck. “Well, I think it’s about time we got going.” He said while continuing to stretch. “My boss is probably getting pissed off by now.”

“But I thought you were going to explain to me what’s going on…” Rose said sadly.

Rayne, bent over backwards, replied, “It’s probably better that you hear it from my boss. Lucifer’s always been good at describing this kind of stuff.”

Rose’s heart stopped beating, as the bottom of her stomach dropped out. Did she really just hear what she thought she heard? She had gotten up and was on her way out of the room when he said this. Turning around slowly, she said weakly,

“Rayne….did…you just say…” She could barely repeat the name. “…Lucifer?”

Rayne nodded. “You’ve heard of him?

A lump had formed in Rose’s throat. Swallowing, she nodded slowly. “Isn’t he…the Devil…?

A smile formed on Rayne’s face, as if he found the whole situation amusing. This was the way most people reacted when they learned his bosses’ name.

“Not exactly,” He said, speaking as if this was just any another conversation. “He’s his grandson, Lucifer III.”

Rose’s jaw dropped. This was becoming unreal. Well, more unreal than it already had been. Rose had left the realm of confusion and entered the realm of being totally-freaked-the-f**ked-out. That, she thought, was a pretty good way to describe the whole situation.

“Does this mean that you’re a…a…” Rose stammered. She didn’t know if he would be insulted by the word.

“A demon?” Rayne asked, his arm in a painful looking position.

Rose nodded. Rayne, bending his leg backwards, shrugged.

“I guess you could call me that. I prefer “horned individual”.

With one last resounding crack of his back, Rayne was ready to go.

“Where are we going...?” Rose asked, afraid that the obvious answer was the right one.

Rayne chuckled and began to sing a song with a tune eerily similar to “To Grandma’s House We Go”.

“Over the marshlands and through the fire to Satan’s house we go.” Rayne sang to himself.

“Great” Rose thought, “Just what I need…a demon with a sense of humor."

[shadowclone]

Ok, now I'm officially gonna follow this. I didn't suspect Rayne being a demon. This should be more interesting that I thought.